


Cecil G. Palmer's Community Calendar

by noodlerdoodler



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Mental Health Issues, POV Cecil (Welcome to Night Vale)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 09:56:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6001690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noodlerdoodler/pseuds/noodlerdoodler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Earl, I'm telling you that there's no way we're at any risk from giant worms this year. That problem has already been handled and it's unlikely they'll arise from their giant worm-y graves to attack us again." Cecil says, waiting patiently as Earl searches his locker for his geometry book and scanning the crowd to see if Carlos is here yet. No sign of the scientist yet but Cecil is keeping faith.</p><p>"I'm not talking about giant worms. I'm talking about GIANT WORMS!!!" Earl points out, "You said that the two things were completely different. And I think that there's a real risk of GIANT WORMS!!! after all the rain we've had this year."</p><p>"Ohhh." Cecil realises, "Yes, GIANT WORMS!!! might be a threat. I thought you were referring to simple giant worms, not their terrifying cousins that devoured half the school soccer team last fall."</p><p>Earl rolls his eyes. "I told you a million times that the soccer team were at an away game. They weren't eaten by any GIANT WORMS!!!"</p><p>"That's what you think." Cecil says.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wednesday: Your Dreams Will Come True

**Author's Note:**

> This is awful and I'm garbage.

Today. Today is the day.

For the last few weeks, Cecil has been talking animatedly to what feels like the entire world about the new kid that showed up out of nowhere and today is it, the day that he finally makes his move. He's been practising what he's going to say, word for word:

_"Hi, my name is Cecil G. Palmer. The G stands for Gershwin but that's not important right now. What's important right now is that I, Cecil G. Palmer, would like to ask you on a date. You. Carlos. The one I'm pointing at right now; I want you to go on a date with me, if you're okay with that. I hope you're okay with that. Also, I think you're beautiful, if that helps. Especially your hair..._

He's been planning this for a while, if it wasn't obvious- ever since he started observing Carlos from a distance, not in a creepy binoculars way, but in a hanging-around-outside-the-science-lab-with-Earl-after-school-to-see-if-Carlos-will-talk-to-him-when-he-walks-past-them. The plan hadn't been working, not until yesterday. Yesterday, Carlos said six whole words to him and Cecil swears that the boy has sucked up his soul or something dramatic like that. Those six words changed everything. He couldn't believe it.

Cecil and Earl had been sat outside the science lab, facing each other, with Earl working on sewing some more badges onto his Boy Scout uniform. Honestly, Cecil didn't understand how Earl had managed to stay a Boy Scout for so long, because he'd left as soon as he found out that it required the kind of physique that he just didn't have. He'd been hoping for something... More fun. Something with more useful life skills. His mother has promised there would be Warding Off Demon badges and Denying The Existence of Mountain badges but she'd been wrong.

It wasn't uncommon for his mother to be wrong about these things.

"Do you think he puts something in his hair to make it look that wonderful?" Cecil had been saying, about Carlos, as he usually was, "It can't be naturally that shiny, can it? Unless... He's not human."

"Cecil." Earl said, in his I'm-two-months-older-and-years-wiser voice, "Do you remember when we talked about accusing people of not being human? Don't do it unless you have evidence first. Remember when you accused poor Dana of hypnotising you and she got all upset about it?"

"Well, I thought she was hypnotising me and using me for her evil bidding." Cecil hoped he didn't look as embarrassed as he felt, (he can't believe he accused Dana of hypnotism that one time), "And I never said she wasn't human!"

"People don't like being accused of things they haven't done- or things they are not." Earl said, swearing under his breath as he pricked his finger on his needle, "I'm just saying that you shouldn't assume things about this... "Carlos", if you haven't actually spoken to him yet. Plus, I'm 97.89% sure that's he's human and trust me, I've done the math."

Cecil trusted him on this because Earl scored a B on a math test last week.

"I'm going to speak to him. Today. Right now. I'm going." Cecil didn't move.

"Go on, then." Earl dared, "Go and speak to him."

"Maybe later." Cecil returned to staring at his purple bootlaces, which his mother has superglued together so that they don't come untied again. His mother is a little... Odd. That's the word that he hears people use anyway. A lot of people, especially idiotic people in his grade, say that he's a lot like her in that way. Other people say he was dropped as a baby. Both could be true- he can't be sure either way.

His mother says there's no reason he's so Cecil-y, he just is.

"You're scared to speak to Carlos. Why?" Earl inquired, curiously, cutting the thread and admiring his handiwork. Cecil doesn't know if there's a sewing badge but if there is, Earl definitely deserves it. His stitching is incredible and Cecil peers over to get a better look.

"I'm not scared." Cecil replied, slumping back when Earl caught him staring, "I'm just waiting for the right time."

"What's the right time?" Earl asked, "I thought you said that time was broken anyway. Is it fixed now?"

"No, it's still broken. The right time is just a metaphor for when I'm going to finally talk to Carlos."

"You don't make any sense."

Cecil was about to respond, when the door to the lab swung open and he shut his mouth abruptly. The science club members, who stayed behind after school to study science-y things (presumably), began to spill out. Earl moved his feet out of the way to let them past and Cecil studied their shoes to spot his Carlos. He knows that Carlos wears shiny shoes with matching laces, which is what he looked for. He knows those feet well enough by now.

Eventually, he spots them (and Carlos's new striped socks, wow!) and was surprised to see them come to a stop in front of him. He looks up to see the boy of his dreams standing over him, beautiful hair and amazing mind and all.

Cecil smiled in the way that he knows people like.

Carlos smiled back at him.

Then, he said. "Don't you guys get bored out here?"

He looked for Cecil to an answer but Cecil- the excessive chatterbox, the voice of the school radio, the captain of the debate team, the one who always got things like "eager participation" and "very friendly" on his reports- didn't know what to say. He just blinked, looking up at Carlos, and searched for the right words.

"We're just fine, thank you." Earl said for him, " _Carlos_."

Earl didn't like Carlos too much and said his name like it wasn't his name. Even though Earl said Cecil was being completely weird about Carlos, _he_ was the one that kept calling Carlos an outsider. Even to his face a few times. Which Cecil didn't think was particularly nice but technically, he supposed that Carlos was an outsider. To him and Earl, to Night Vale, to their entire world here.

"Right. Earl." Carlos nodded to him, turning away from Cecil, "What are you doing out here anyway?"

"He likes it here." Earl said, gesturing to Cecil, "And I'm his friend, so I sit with him. Because that's what good friends do." He speaks quickly, "We're good friends."

"Cool." Carlos said, like he didn't think it was cool at all, "Nice to see you anyway, Earl. And..." He frowned at Cecil, like he wasn't quite sure what to call him, "Earl's friend." And he smiled.

Cecil nodded. And Carlos walked off, hands in his lab coat pockets.

Because of that happening yesterday, Cecil knew that he had to make his move today to make sure that Carlos didn't forget that he existed. And so that Carlos didn't call him Earl's friend- because, even though he was Earl's friend, he was also his own person and liked people to refer to him as Cecil.

 _SLAM!_ Earl slamming his locker shut, enthusiastically, beside him jerks him out of his thoughts abruptly and brings him back to the present. His friend is standing there, backpack hanging off one shoulder, looking at him expectantly. He just asked Cecil as a question and is waiting for an answer.

"Repeat the question, please?" Cecil frowns, "I wasn't listening to a single word you just said. In fact, I didn't even register you were standing there. Not that you aren't noticeable but I was a million miles away."

"With the fairies, Cecil?" Earl says, in an amused but friendly way, "As always, I see. I said, you do know that we have a debate club meeting during lunch, right?"

"Right, right." Cecil nods, "I know that. But I wasn't going to go."

"But you're the captain."

"I know that as well. But I wasn't going to go." Cecil repeats, "Today is the day that I ask Carlos out on a date and I don't have time for the debate team meeting. We'll just have to reschedule it so that I can put my boyfriend first. Some things are just more important than debate club."

"You can't call him your boyfriend until you've actually asked him out." Earl points out, helpfully, "And you know that Wednesday is always the day we hold debate club meetings. Can't you just ask Carlos out some other day?"

"No. I have to do it today, so he doesn't forget I exist."

"Ugh..." Earl looks bored of all the Carlos talk, rolling his eyes. He keeps fidgeting with his neckerchief- Earl is permanently wearing a neckerchief, in the way that Cecil is always wearing a tie.

Cecil changes the subject. "Did you want to go bowling on Saturday again?"

This seems to brighten Earl's mood significantly, which is lucky because Earl's moodiness was really beginning to drag Cecil down.

Cecil makes sure to keep up an incessant chatter about weekend plans the whole way to class.

* * *

 

There's only one class which he shares with Carlos, which is, unfortunately, science. This is unfortunate for two reasons: 1. Cecil already agreed to be lab partners with Dana and can't switch now without upsetting his friend and 2. Carlos is too busy gazing at the experiments while stars surface in his pretty brown eyes to pay any attention to anybody else in the room. So, he pays no attention to Cecil, (who is two seats behind him and one to the right), and instead focuses on scribbling eagerly on a clipboard. They aren't even meant to be using clipboards- Cecil has no idea where he got one from.

"So, Earl told me that today was a pretty big day for you." Dana says, brightly, as she drops her bag on the desk and takes the seat beside Cecil. She's the school president, one of Cecil's close friends, and is the only girl he knows with choppy, uneven brown hair that she cuts herself. She also doesn't wear her glasses, even though she's meant to.

"Everyday is a big day for me, especially in the wonderful desert town of Night Vale." Cecil replies, "But yes, today especially, is exciting for a reason which is entirely different to the usual antics."

"Even more exciting than when those antiques got stolen?" Dana raises an eyebrow.

"You mean, when the antiques got loose." Cecil corrects, "And it is more exciting than that. Much more exciting. It's the day that I-"

Dana leans in eagerly but it's too late, the teacher sweeps in and the lesson begins before Cecil can tell her just why today is so exciting. As usual, he doesn't focus on the lesson and instead occupies himself with writing new ideas for his radio show in the back of his exercise book. He knows he can pass this class, as long as he does all the homework.

(He also... Well, it's silly really but he's never sure what to say in front of Carlos. And he really wants to impress him but when he puts his hand up in other classes, people tend to sigh dramatically in a Cecil-Palmer-is-up-to-it-again way. He doesn't want Carlos to do that.)

Ever since freshman year, Cecil has been the sole voice of the school radio, which is broadcast on Tuesdays and Thursdays respectfully. Honestly, he's not really sure why he was picked, but his mother reckons it was to keep him out of trouble. He has no idea what that's supposed to mean- how much trouble could he get into during lunch twice a week?- but he's glad that he was picked anyway. Since they can never keep an intern for longer than a week, Cecil is almost solely in charge of the broadcasts and it's his greatest pride. He's always coming up with the best ideas. At least, he thinks they're the best ideas. Other people don't always agree.

He's just scribbling down some ideas about how to make the community calendar a little more exciting (most involve dragons) when Dana nudges him firmly in the ribs.

Cecil looks up. "Hm?"

"We're switching lab partners." She tells him and he watches the shining stud in her tongue wiggle around as she talks.

"Why on earth would we do that?"

"Because the teacher-" Dana sighs and doesn't bother explaining further, "Listen, just pack up your stuff and head over to your boyfriend over there. Future boyfriend. Whatever. Look, he's waiting for you to go over."

Carlos is waiting for him to go over, indeed. He's _looking_ at Cecil and _smiling_!

He's going to be _Carlos's_ lab partner today? He can't believe that this opportunity just fell into his lap like this but he's going to grab it and make the best of it. Cecil takes his bag and his collection of sentient rocks, straightens his stylish purple tie, and heads over to Carlos's desk. He takes the now empty seat beside him and smiles back at Carlos in a "hey, this is such a great coincidence" kind of way. Or that's what he intends.

Carlos, sweeping his hair out of his eyes in a dramatic gesture, smiles back.

"Hey." He says, "I'm Carlos."

"Yes, I know." Cecil says, "We spoke yesterday. Remember?"

Carlos nods. "I remember, you're Earl's friend."

"Actually, Earl is my friend. I'm the one that asked him to help me earn my Escaping A Locked Room badge in the Boy Scouts and we've been friends ever since." Cecil explains, "I'm Cecil G. Palmer by the way. The G stands for Gershwin."

"Your parents are a fan of the composer?" Carlos guesses.

"Composer?"

"George Gershwin, the composer." Carlos explains.

"No, no, it's nothing like that. My mother was going to name me Gershwin after my grandmother, since she was convinced that I would be a girl. But after I was born, she decided it would fit better as a middle name. I share the same last name as my mother, that's the origin of Palmer. I don't know where the Cecil part comes from."

"Right." Carlos looks confused but he shrugs, "It's nice to meet you, Cecil."

"It's nice to meet you too, Carlos." He beams- not literally, that's just a metaphor that means that he smiles brightly like a beam of light- and looks Carlos over, taking in every single detail. Unfortunately, the love of his life- ahem, he means Carlos- has already returned to the lesson, writing a whole bunch of notes on his clipboard. Cecil peers at them but can't make head or tail of the jumbled handwriting. It must be important science stuff, he guesses. Though, he can see several drawings of cats in the corner of the clipboard.

He doesn't find a chance to fit "Will you be my boyfriend?" into the conversation anywhere but Cecil does get a chance to talk a little more to Carlos during the experiment. It involves mixing two different chemicals to cause a reaction- which Carlos decides he should do and Cecil should just watch.

Still, Cecil decides that this would be a perfect chance to learn a little more about Carlos.

"Where did you move here from, beautiful Carlos?" He asks, struggling to fit the goggles on over his glasses, "I mean, where did you used to live? Before Night Vale?"

"Oh, you know, just here and there. My parents are scientists and they like to study lots of different things. We move a lot." Carlos gestures vaguely with one hand, before using it to push his long hair back again, (it keeps falling in his eyes, which is adorable), "I think we'll be staying here a while though. Night Vale is just so interesting."

"It is, isn't it? I think it's just about the most interesting and wonderful place in the known universe." Cecil agrees, "And I'm not just biased that because I grew up here. My mother says that Night Vale only gets better year by year- more and more magical, if you know what I mean."

"Magical, huh?" Carlos smiles at him, "How's it magical, Cecil?"

"I just think it's a wonderful place where all creatures from different walks of life can coincide peacefully- most of the time." Cecil says, "And I think it's wonderful that we can all exist in a place like this where strange lights pass overhead and beings we can't legally call angels walk among us."

"You've got quite the imagination, Cecil."

"That's what my doctor says too." Cecil nods, "But I think that's just because he doesn't want anybody to find out about the truths the city council are trying to hide from us all."

Carlos laughs but not in a cruel way. In a friendly way. "It's probably a large conspiracy to conceal dangerous secrets from the general public, I agree."

Cecil's eyes widen. "Finally! Somebody that gets it!"

"I get you, Cecil." He says, "Can you pass me that test tube to your left?"

"Of course." Cecil does.

Whilst Carlos doesn't speak, he does run his tongue over his front teeth as he pours one test tube into another and turns the liquid a bright shade of purple. It's the exact shade of purple that Cecil's eyes would be if they were combined. It makes him inhale sharply, excitedly, as he looks at Carlos. Science has never been exciting before. Carlos is scribbling frantically on his clipboard about gods knows what.

Cecil lets him scribble for a while before cutting in.

"Science is a lot like witchcraft, isn't it?"

"I'm hoping I won't get tied to a stake and burnt for science like those poor women in medieval times." Carlos's gaze flicks up and his brown eyes melt Cecil's heart in his chest.

"My great grandmother was burnt alive for witchcraft." Cecil offers helpfully.

"Are you serious?" Carlos's eyebrows pull together.

"Well, that's what my mother told me." Cecil shrugs.

Carlos's face softens into another smile. "You're just full of secrets, aren't you, Cecil?"

Cecil nods. "Only secrets I'm forbidden to tell."

"Well, aren't all secrets things that we're forbidden to tell?" Carlos says, "If we were allowed to tell them, they wouldn't be secrets, right?"

And he bumps arms with Cecil, perhaps on purpose, sending a jolt of electricity all the way up his arm.

* * *

 

When Cecil meets with Earl at lunch, he is ecstatic and practically bubbling over with excitement about how many words him and Carlos exchanged. Earl, good old Earl, listens to it all- even when Cecil starts spontaneously burbling in Yiddish instead of English. He's not sure how much of that Earl understands but apparently, it's enough.

"I'm glad that things went well with Carlos." He says, flatly, when Cecil finishes.

"You don't sound glad, which means you're lying to me." Cecil notes, "I don't like it when you lie to me about things and you know that, Earl Harlan."

He can usually tell when Earl is lying to him because his voice betrays him. When Earl is lying about being glad, his voice goes flatter than a pancake. When Earl lies about being upset, his voice sounds miserable. When Earl lies about the existence of mountains, he sounds exasperated. Cecil has learnt to call him out on these things.

"I am glad, Cecil." Earl promises, "Scout's honour. I'm just a little tired."

"Oh, that's okay!" Cecil brightens up, "As long as you aren't lying to me. How was... What class were you in again, Divination?"

"That's not real." comes a small voice from behind them, "We were in Math."

Roger, the startlingly quiet boy with the red hair and freckles, is following them to lunch. Cecil hadn't even noticed him shadowing them, which he feels bad about, but isn't unusual. Honestly, Roger speaks so little that it's rare for him to be noticed. A year ago, he seemed to take to Earl and decided to tag along behind him ever since, meaning that he often follows them to lunch or to the bowling alley or to the record shop. Cecil doesn't mind him too much but Roger's inherent lack of belief in anything is mildly annoying.

"Math?" Cecil says, instead of commenting on Roger's idiocy, "How exciting!"

"It's really not exciting, Cecil." Earl shakes his head, looking amused, "But it was okay, I guess. Are you still planning to call off the debate club meeting?"

"Of course I am, I already told you that this morning." Cecil says, "We'll have to make sure that everybody knows so nobody gets too excited about going to the meeting. Can you tell everybody?"

"Cecil..." Earl has an exasperated expression on his face, "You and me are the only members of the debate club, remember? You kicked Violet, the only other member, out after you accused him of mind control."

"I just don't like the idea of Violet controlling my mind, does that make me crazy?" Cecil can't help rolling his eyes, "He had no right to hypnotise me into holding that charitable bake sale. No right, I tell you."

"Cecil-" Earl now looks defeated, "Ugh, whatever. Sure, no debate club. We'll just have to hold the meeting after school at my place."

"It's always at your place." Cecil complains, "And your place is so far away. And you know that I'm not allowed to catch buses, in case the drivers turn into giant eagles and devour me."

"The things your mother tells you, honestly. Anyway, your place is full of stuffed birds and creepy dreamcatchers and magical amulets warding off the evil eye."

"So, what?"

"You know it makes me uncomfortable."

"Then, why do you wear the amulet that I gave you for your birthday?" Cecil stops and turns to face him, poking at the charm hanging around Earl's neck on a purple string. He'd handmade it with the help of his mother and given it to Earl for his birthday when they were thirteen. Earl hadn't taken it off since then.

"It matches my eyes." Earl mumbles, or something equally as made-up.

"It's purple. Your eyes are green." Cecil says.

"Just forget it." Earl pushes Cecil's hand away, "It's nothing."

"If you say so." Cecil says, a little hurt that the handmade amulet is 'nothing'.

They stand there for a few moments, just staring at each other. Something in Earl's eyes looks an awful lot like upset but Cecil doesn't want to point it out.

"We're going to be late for Geography." Roger says, eventually, making Cecil jump. He'd forgotten that Roger was standing there again.

"Right." Earl says, nodding, "Let's get to Geography, Cecil."

They are late for Geography, of course, but the teacher, The Man In The Tan Jacket, doesn't have anything to say about it. Most likely because he is often late, due to him phasing in and out of time and space. At least, that's what Cecil theorises. Earl tells him that's not true and that it's a complete coincidence that their teacher is easy to miss- he also says that Cecil should pay more attention to his surroundings, instead of talking about time travel and doodling magical glowing portals into the textbooks with gel pens.

Cecil doesn't like Geography much because it reminds him of the world outside of Night Vale. He doesn't like to think about the world outside, which is much less pleasant that his wonderful town, so he blanks most of the information out.

Today they are learning about mountains- which may or may not exist.

When Cecil puts his hand up and states that they don't exist, The Man In The Tan Jacket just shrugs and tells him that he can believe whatever he wants but mountains definitely do exist and that's just a fact. Cecil argues. The Man In The Tan Jacket ignores him.

"Mountains do exist." Roger points out, "We went hiking up one in the spring."

"Indeed." Earl says, apparently still unhappy about something.

"I still think it's a conspiracy devised by an agency of undercover lizards." Cecil says.

"I swear, the stuff you come out with gets more ludicrous every day." Earl sighs.

"Thanks, Earl!" Cecil grins, taking it as a compliment.

Earl lays his head down on the desk.

* * *

 

At lunch, Cecil doesn't head to debate club because he cancelled it and instead, heads into the cafeteria. It's not somewhere that he goes very often, since it's not a good place for people like him, and him and Earl prefer to eat lunch in the safety of the science corridor. Not many people venture there and they get to sit quietly, talking and trading cards and sewing badges (in Earl's case, at least).

The cafeteria is loud, which bothers Cecil, but he tries to focus on something else. Like Carlos. He focuses on Carlos, who is sitting at a table full of other science club people, and makes his way over to him as quickly as he can. He ignores the whispers that follow him, which might belong to lost spirits but more likely belong to the other kids, who don't like him.

Carlos is talking eagerly about something, probably science, and gesturing with his hands as he does so. Cecil doesn't want to cut him off, so he waits until his boyfrie- ahem, Carlos, is done talking before he speaks. Then, he taps him on the shoulder.

"Carlos... Can I please have a word? Or a couple of them?" He makes sure to stand where Carlos won't miss him, as close as he dares. Which isn't close at all.

"Huh? Oh, Cecil!" Carlos smiles at him, "Hey. Nice to see you again."

"Yeah." Cecil wonders if he looks as happy as he feels, "Can I please talk to you?"

"In private?" Carlos says, going to get up.

"No, no, we can do it here." Cecil flicks his eyes over the group of scientists and decides that it's not bad if they overhear. If all goes well, he'll be announcing this on the school radio show soon enough anyway and the whole school will know. "It doesn't really matter."

"Okay, shoot."

"Shoot what?" Cecil blinks.

"I mean... Go ahead. Talk." Carlos gestures for him to go on, "What did you want?"

"Oh, I just... Do you listen to the school radio show?" Cecil hopes so.

"Sure I do. That's you, right? Yeah, you seem to talk about me a lot on it." Carlos doesn't look upset by this, more entertained, "Is this something to do with that?"

"Sort of." Cecil has never been so lost for words, "The thing is... I wondered if you might be free sometime soon so that we could spend some time in each other's company. Like... Like a date kind of thing?"

Carlos's expression is impossible to read. "Are you asking me out?"

"Yes, I'm asking when you're free so that we can go on a date." Cecil says, drawing up to his full height (which is still short), "This weekend, perhaps?"

"A date." Carlos is still registering, "What kind of date would this be?"

"Arby's maybe? They have really great food there." Cecil has a million things he could say about Arby's and he went with the stupidest and least relevant one. Sometimes, he can't believe the comments he makes. Carlos jumbles his brain so that he can't speak as eloquently as usual.

"Arby's." Carlos repeats.

"Yes, that's what I just said."

"With you?"

"That is how dates conventionally work." Cecil frowns, "We can go and get a meal together, talk about our interests and hobbies, hold hands, and kiss underneath the stars."

"Woah."

"Was that the wrong thing to say?"

"It's just... Surprising, honestly. This is a lot to take in at once. You're a lot to take in at once, Cecil." Carlos runs a hand through his hair, "But sure, why not? I'll go on a date with you. I'd like to. It sounds... Fun?"

"It will be fun, yes!" Cecil agrees. He can't believe this is actually happening.

"I'd like to spend Saturday afternoon with you, Cecil, if that's okay." Carlos says, standing up so that they're almost eye-level (Carlos is taller), "I'd enjoy that."

"Me too." Cecil nods, "I will see you then, provided we are both well and alive and not abducted by any extraterrestrial lifeforms in the meantime."

Carlos smiles widely.

* * *

 

"He actually said yes?" Earl sounds surprised.

School has recently ended, signified by the ringing of the final bell, and the two of them are walking down the sidewalk towards Earl's house. It's on the other side of town, which Cecil is unhappy about, but Earl refuses point blank to step in Cecil's home if he can help it. Cecil doesn't really understand why but he's not offended. Besides, Earl's dad always makes the nicest cookies.

"He actually said yes." Cecil confirms, wondering why Earl didn't process this information the first time, "I am going to be spending Saturday with Carlos T. Scientist at Arby's."

"First of all, I'm pretty sure his last name isn't Scientist." Earl says, staring ahead of them, even though there's nothing interesting to see, (at least, there's nothing to see if your mind is as closed as Earl's can be), "Second of all, you promised me bowling on Saturday. Remember?"

"We can bowl on Sunday. As long as it's in the evening. You know my mother likes me to spend time with her in the morning. And I like to bake in the afternoon." Cecil says, "But any time after five should be just about fine."

"But you promised me Saturday." Earl says, his expression hard-to-read.

"I _know_." Cecil says, to make it clear, "But now, I'm spending Saturday with Carlos. I'm going to have to see you on Sunday. That will be okay, right?"

"Right." Earl says, "But you promised me Saturday."

"You can have every Saturday for the rest of the month." Cecil says, "Scout's Honour."

"You're not even a Scout anymore." Earl says, but he smiles a little, "But I'm holding you to that. Want to shake on it?"

Earl grips his hand a little longer than necessary.


	2. Saturday: Great Day For Aquarius!

Early in the morning, Cecil is woken by the feeling of something warm clawing at the leg of his pyjamas and pressing up against him. It doesn't hurt but it's enough to rouse him, making him lift his head and peer down at where his beloved cat is purring against his leg. He reaches one hand down to scratch Khoshekh (his mother got to name him, it's a Hebrew word) behind the ears. The cat is especially fluffy behind the ears.

"Morning, Khoshekh." Cecil mutters, affectionately, and his cat purrs back at him in response. He adores cats (well, he does now) and he's the kind of person that will stop on the streets to stroke cats, especially the cutest and fluffiest ones. But there is no cat in the world that he loves more than Khoshekh. He's a scruffy-looking thing but just about all in one piece.

"Mhm." Cecil pushes himself up, glances over at where **ERROR** is glowing on the clock, and decides that there's little point in trying to get back to sleep now. Instead, he just rubs at his eyes, scoops the cat up into his arms, and heads downstairs. He's only halfway down the stairs when he hears his mother crashing about in the kitchen. She's got the radio on loudly.

"Good morning, mother." He pushes the kitchen door open, still clutching Khoshekh in his arms and stroking him behind the ears, "How are you?"

The kitchen smells strongly of burnt pancakes and out-of-date orange juice. As usual.

Cecil's mother smiles at him. "Good morning, honey. Is your sister up yet?"

Cecil has been told several times that him and his mother are strikingly alike; the only resemblance that he sees between them is the wispy blonde hair and the eyes that change colour every few seconds like a kaleidoscope. That and the fact that they share a lot of the same interests. For instance, they both collect sentient space rocks and write in blue ink and are aware of the secret agents that walk amongst them daily. Cecil's mother doesn't dress as nice as him but she's pretty enough, he supposes. He's not really sure.

"Abby's at college." Cecil reminds her, helpfully, "She moved out six months ago."

"Oh... Oh, yes." His mother seems to remember, (sometimes she needs prompting), "Well, I've made enough breakfast for her anyway. You'll just have to eat twice as much as usual."

This has happened a few times before. "Yes, mother."

"And put that cat down." Cecil's mother tells him, "How many times do I have to tell you not to pick it up?"

"Yes, mother." Cecil doesn't put the cat down, instead carrying him to the kitchen table and letting Khoshekh sit in his lap. His mother puts a plate of (predominantly burnt) food in front of him, so that he can poke it with a fork and attempt to eat some of it. He struggles, not because the food is burnt (yet raw in the middle) but because he's nervous.

Today is the day of his date with Carlos and he wants it to go really well- he's even crossing the fingers of his right hand underneath the table as he's eating because everybody knows that's good luck. To his surprise, his mother hasn't picked up on his nerves yet. But give her time... She's very good at noticing things like that because she has a self-proclaimed sixth sense. People pay her to notice things like that about them. Cecil doesn't have to pay her money, she just notices these things because she's his mother.

"Are you and Earl going bowling today?" Cecil's mother sits down opposite him, "I saw him flashing morse code at your window last night from the other side of town. You weren't up all night talking with him, were you, Cecil?"

He doesn't say anything, he just picks at what he hopes is a waffle of some kind. Or, at least, it was a waffle once upon a time. Who knows what it is now?

"You usually go bowling on Saturdays." His mother prompts.

"Not today, I've got a date." Cecil keeps his gaze fixed on his plate pointedly, "With a boy. From school." Before his mother can say anything, he continues, "His name is Carlos, he's a scientist, and we're going to Arby's together. I'll make sure he doesn't order any wheat or wheat by-products."

"Carlos..." His mother says, thinking it over.

"Yes, Carlos. He's new." Cecil says, "I think you'll like him."

"As long as he isn't a spy for an undercover lizard government, of course I'll like him."

Cecil likes his mother a lot.

After breakfast, Cecil has most of the morning to waste and spends most of it debating whether or not he should be calling Earl. After all, he was acting pretty odd on Wednesday and didn't speak to Cecil after his (Cecil's, not Earl's) eager broadcast all about Carlos on Thursday. He thinks it's because Earl's still mad about bowling being moved to Sunday but he doesn't really understand why he's mad about that. After all, it's just bowling. And while Cecil loved bowling, it wasn't as important as a date with Carlos. Surely Earl understood that.

In the end, Cecil decides to call his sister instead and dials the number, crossing his fingers that she won't be too busy with... Well, whatever college students are usually busy with. And while he waits for her to pick up, he begins to dig through his closet for something that's acceptable to wear for a date. What do you wear for a date anyway? Can you wear galoshes?

On the ninth ring, somebody that isn't Abby picks up. "Hello!"

_"Steve Carlsberg."_ Cecil breathes.

There's a pause before the cheerful voice continues. "Is that you, Cecil? We haven't spoken in a long time, buddy!"

"I am not your 'buddy'." There is nobody that Cecil hates more in the world than Steve Carlsberg- his sister's ignorant and irritating boyfriend, who constantly speaks forbidden truths aloud for all to hear. He has never met a man so _stupid_.

"How are things going? Are you having fun at school?"

"Steve Carlsberg." Cecil pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs, "Listen, Steve Carlsberg. I do not want to speak to you. I have nothing at all to say to you, _Steve_. I would like to discuss something important with Abby, if she's in the vicinity."

"Sure thing, kid. She's coming back over now, I'll just pass you over to her!"

There's a clattering on the other end of the phone and jumbled words before Abby picks up.

"Hello, Cecil." She says, brightly. They aren't close, as siblings go, but they're close enough.

"Hello, Abby." He nods, noting that none of his shirts have been ironed in a while.

Abby pauses. "You never call. Is something wrong? Is it Mom?"

"No, mother is quite alright." Cecil clarifies, before she can ask any further questions, "She sends her love, of course."

".... Cecil, you're not a great liar, you know. She doesn't know you're calling, does she?"

"I didn't want to talk to you about mother, I had something else to discuss." Cecil says, quickly, "I have a date today with a beautiful scientist and I wanted to ask you how to... Do dating."

"Oh, Cecil." Abby chuckles; luckily, she is easily distracted, "A date? That's so cute of you. Well, for one thing, don't wear the shirt with the green polka dots."

Cecil drops it abruptly. "No?"

"No." Abby says, "And don't talk to them all about that witchcraft-cult-secret-organisation mumble-jumble."

He ignores this advice because it is stupid. "What else?"

"Try... Try to keep ahold of yourself, Cecil. Don't overwhelm them. You can be a little too... Forward sometimes. It's a little much for some people."

"Thanks, Abby." Cecil says, delighted to find that his favourite striped shirt isn't too crumpled, "And you should try and find a better boyfriend."

"Cecil..." Abby sighs, "I wish you weren't so harsh about Steve. I don't understand why you don't like him."

"I need to go now." Cecil glances at the time, which is still broken, "I think Carlos will be here soon. It's hard to tell since time got broken."

"Okay, kid." His sister says, "I'll come visit you as soon as I can."

"Bye Abby."

"One last thing." She says, before he can hang up, "Are you sure that Mom-"

Cecil hangs up.

"She's fine." He says, even though she's not here anymore.

* * *

 

Of course, Cecil can't be sure exactly when it was that time got broken for obvious reasons but he presumes that it was some time during the summer. That's when he came remember his digital clock, the last one in the house, coming to a sudden stop and it's been blinking error warnings at him ever since. Now, there are no clocks in the house that work. Because time is broken. It broke around the same time that Abby left for college.

Because time doesn't work properly, he can only guess when Carlos will arrive, and he spends the rest of the morning sat by the window and waiting. He's wearing his best shirt and his nicest tie and last minute decided that nine amulets/charms was overkill. He's only wearing seven around his neck, less than usual.

"Is he here yet, Cecil?" His mother appears behind him after a while, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him into a hug; her chin rests on top of his head, no doubt ruining his hair, "You're sure that he's going to come?"

"Carlos will be here soon." Cecil tells her and reassures himself.

"Mhm." His mother squeezes him tightly, "Maybe he just got caught up running away from librarians or menacing secret organisations or something like that."

"You're probably right." Cecil exhales.

"If he doesn't turn up soon, I'll have to feed him to the flesh-hungry vultures."

"You're so embarrassing." Cecil leans back to look up at her (his shortness certainly doesn't come from his mother), "You can't tease Carlos like that when he gets here. He doesn't understand about jokes at all."

"I won't embarrass you, Cecil, don't worry. I'm going to rearrange my sentient rock collection, should I do yours too?"

"No, I can sort it out myself." Cecil grumbles, "Go and fuss over somebody else."

"Okay." Cecil's mother releases her grip on him and heads for the door; at the last second, she turns back to him and frowns, "Have you seen your sister around today? She wasn't at breakfast."

"Abby is at college." Cecil says, "She's been there for the last six months."

His mother makes a face like she's been told ghosts don't exist anymore and leaves the room. Cecil watches her go, listening to the sound of her footsteps on the stairs, waiting until she's upstairs before turning back to the peering round the lace curtains for Carlos. It's not that he doesn't love his mother- he loves her to pieces- but sometimes he wonders if it would be nice if she were different. And if she could remember that Abby was at college and that Cecil has a doctors appointment on Tuesday and other things along those lines.

Cecil has met Earl's Mom and Dana's Mom and they are very different women to his own mother. He's not sure if he's happy or unhappy about this.

After a while- he doesn't know how long- he finally catches sight of beautiful Carlos out on the sidewalk, staring at the screen of his phone, looking around, and staring at the phone of his screen again. He's so beautiful when his eyebrows are furrowed together in confusion and his glasses are crooked like that. Ugh, he's beautiful all the time!

Cecil rushes to get the door, flinging it open and yelling "CARLOS" in the calmest manner possible to get his boyfriend- ahem, Carlos's attention. It works and Carlos snaps around, smiling at him instantly. And he approaches, sneakers scuffing against the driveway, and Cecil wonders if he's overdressed. No, no, of course he isn't. If Carlos looks perfect in just his jeans and worn-out shirt, then that's what he should wear.

Cecil almost wishes his boyfriend- ahem, he means Carlos- had worn his lab coat. He looks so different without it.

But he's so beautiful.

"Hey." Carlos says, still smiling widely at him, "Hey, Cecil."

"My beautiful Carlos." Cecil remembers what his sister said about not overwhelming people, "I mean, of course, Carlos. Hey. Totally normal Carlos. Hi."

"Sorry I'm late, I couldn't find your house?" Carlos frowns, "The address you gave me doesn't seem to exist?"

"No, that's our address." Cecil assures him, brightly, "Our home just doesn't show up on many of those... hip, new GPS things."

"Oh, okay, that's... Cool, I guess." Carlos holds out a hand to him, "Shall we go?"

"Ye-"

" _Cecil_ , you didn't tell me that Carlos was here already." Cecil's mother comes sweeping out of nowhere to take a good look at Carlos, standing behind Cecil to peer at him, "Hello, Carlos. I told you he'd show up, didn't I? Now we don't have to feed him to the vultures after all. I guess we'll just have to throw that mangy cat to them."

"Mother." Cecil rolls his eyes, "You promised you wouldn't tease."

He doesn't dare take Carlos's outstretched hand now. Cecil's mother, instead, grabs Carlos's hand and shakes it firmly.

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs Palmer." Carlos says, looking only slightly bewildered. Why he looks like a rabbit caught in the headlights, Cecil has no idea. He can only guess that Carlos wasn't expecting Cecil's mother to greet him.

"It's Ms." Cecil and his mother correct at the same time.

"Sorry."

Cecil's mother lets go of Carlos's hand after she's apparently done enthusiastically shaking it and steps back. "You boys have fun now. Make sure you stay away from the library."

"Mother." Cecil groans, "I know that already. There's no need to reiterate it."

"Just making sure you stay safe, Cecil."

Before his mother can launch into a tirade about librarians and tell the story of how she almost lost an arm whilst looking for an old copy of Great Expectations, Cecil grabs his boyfriend- ahem, he means Carlos- and pulls him down the driveway with him. He ignores his mother, who is waving at him and possibly beginning to tear up, and Carlos doesn't say anything either.

When they come to the end of the street, Cecil releases his grip on Carlos's shirt (brushing out the creases quickly) and the scientist looks at him curiously.

"Your mother... She looks a lot like you." He says, eventually, "And your house looks fascinating. What were those flowers doing taped to the windows?"

"Oh, my mother is set on keeping us safe from the evil eye." Cecil shrugs, "She thinks flowers at the window will keep it at bay."

"That's so cool." Carlos says, meaning it, "Sorta like garlic being hung by the windows to keep vampires away in the movies, huh?"

Cecil laughs. "Vampires can easily overcome garlic. Their real weakness is Lee Marvin movies played in reverse. Everybody knows that, Carlos. Except you."

That makes Carlos chuckle. "'Cos I'm an outsider, right?"

"Earl doesn't like you very much." Cecil admits, "But he'll come round when he realises how wonderful you are."

"Cecil, you don't know anything about me." Carlos points out, "How do you know I'm wonderful at all?"

"Because you're highly intellectual when it comes to science, you're the nicest person I know and you're nice to everybody, you get really excited about scientific theory, and you agreed to come on a date with me. I think all those reasons and the fact that you poke your tongue out the corner of your mouth when you're thinking make you wonderful." Cecil counts them on his fingers, "Not to mention, you talk to me like a..." He trails off, "Like you talk to everybody else."

"Do people treat you differently, Cecil?" Carlos's voice softens abruptly.

Cecil shrugs.

"Yeah, me too." Carlos admits, "But we'll be freaks together, right?"

"Right." Cecil reaches and takes Carlos's hand in his own, interlocking their fingers. Carlos's hand is pleasantly warm, a little sticky from nerves, but fits perfectly into Cecil's. He admires a few things, like the slight difference in the shades of skin and the freckle on Carlos's thumb and Carlos's stubby nails, which are nothing like Cecil's neat, painted ones. Carlos's hand looks painfully simple in comparison to the drawings that trail up Cecil's.

Cecil draws a sharp breath. "I haven't held hands with anybody before. My mother never held my hand when I was little, she trusted me to stick with her."

"I haven't held hands with anybody since I was a little kid." Carlos says, before meeting his eyes and squeezing his hand, "This is nice. Like, really nice, Cecil."

"In a perfect world, I would hold your hand forever and I like to think this world is close to perfect as we can get."

* * *

 

"So, it's just you and your mother?" Carlos says, as he stirs the straw in his milkshake. They are sat in Arby's, in one of the booths by the window so that Cecil can people-watch, across from each other. Every now and then, Cecil's knee bumps "accidentally" against Carlos's, making them both smile like idiots. They both know he's not doing it accidentally.

"No, it's my mother, me, and my cat, Khoshekh." Cecil explains, folding the napkins neatly into tiny cranes to stop himself from staring dreamily at Carlos, "I used to have a brother but he's gone now. My sister is at college."

"Gone?" Carlos questions.

"Yes, gone. I don't know where."

"What about your dad? Don't you have a dad?" Carlos asks, curiously.

"No." Cecil finishes his third crane in a row and smiles proudly at how nicely it sits on the table, "I don't have one. And don't say that I must have one because I don't. I don't need one, either." He looks up to meet Carlos's pretty brown eyes, "I want to know more about you now."

"I'm really not that interesting. My parents are scientists. We live in a normal house. I don't have any brothers or sisters and I probably never will." Carlos shrugs, "See? I'm boring in comparison."

"Don't be a fool, Carlos, everybody is interesting. You're the most interesting person in the world to me, no matter what you think. Tell me more about you, Carlos, please? Something interesting like what kind of books you like to read or which gods you believe in."

Despite his words, Cecil can't help but think that Carlos seems stunningly "normal" for someone that called himself a freak earlier today. But in a way, the fact that he's "normal" is fascinating in a strange kind of way. Cecil can't even imagine what it's like to live in a big house with two parents and no strange lights passing overhead during the night.

"I like to read about astrophysics. That's a type of science to do with studying astronomy and applying laws and theories of physics to the stars and the universe." Carlos takes a sip of his milkshake, looking far away and happy, "I'd like to work in it one day. But other kinds of science are good too. There are lots of interesting things on Earth to study too, especially in Night Vale."

Cecil nods, barely following.

"As for gods..." Carlos chuckles, "I'm an atheist, Cecil, I don't believe in any gods. Sorry if that's disappointing to you. I know how important all this... Kind of stuff is to you."

Cecil shrugs. "I think atheism is an excuse for people that haven't found their faith yet. So, I guess in that respect, we're kind of even."

Carlos nods. "What about you? What do you like to read?"

"I don't need to read, I have a perfectly good imagination to use." Some people say his imagination is scarily good, mainly his sister and his doctors, "But if I had to choose, I'm a fan of classic literature. It's the only kind that my mother allows in the house."

"Intriguing." Carlos's eyes are bright and alert, "You must have some imagination, huh? To come up with all this stuff about secret government agencies and-"

"My psychiatrist says I have a very good imagination." Cecil says, brightly, "But that I'll probably grow out of it. I have no idea what that's supposed to mean."

"Adults are weird." Carlos says, but he's looking at Cecil curiously.

Cecil nods happily and leans over so that he can grasp the scientist's hand.

Carlos smiles at the table. "You should... You should know that this is the first time I've ever been on a date with somebody. Nobody has actually asked me out before."

_"No!"_ Cecil is surprised but secretly pleased, "But you're so perfect."

"Mhm." Carlos makes a vague kind of gesture with his left hand, "Eh... Sure."

Thinking back to what his sister said, Cecil reconsiders. "Was that too much?"

"A little."

"I'm sorry, Abby said people don't like it when I'm too "forward"."

"Is Abby your sister?"

"Yes. She's at college."

"You mentioned." Carlos squeezes his hand tightly, "Once or twice."

Cecil shrugs.

"Hey..." Carlos looks up at him, (his beautiful eyes make Cecil melt into a gooey puddle on the floor- not literally), "So, as I was saying, I don't really know if I'm doing this dating thing right."

Cecil grins, leaning forward. "Oh, trust me, you're doing just fine."

* * *

 

When they step back outside, it's beginning to grow dark. Cecil reckons that it's because time is broken but when he voices his hypothesis, Carlos just laughs and tells him that time is moving at the same rate it usually is. They just spent a lot of time talking. Cecil doesn't believe him for a second.

Either way, Cecil has always liked the night time, since it's when the world is at its strangest and most beautiful. It's when the stars explode overhead and the menacing government helicopters whirl and the sign for Arby's flashes in the dark. It turns out to also be the time that the moonlight bounces perfectly off Carlos's perfect hair and makes him look more beautiful than usual. This is a pleasant discovery.

Cecil finds himself regularly switching between staring up at the stars which are dancing in the sky and his boyfri- his _date_. On the other hand, Carlos seems to be intent on staring at the sidewalk, struggling to meet Cecil's eyes. At least, that's what Cecil supposes because even when he starts talking, gesturing even more enthusiastically than usual in an attempt to win Carlos's attention, Carlos doesn't spare him a glance. He just stares down at the sidewalk as they walk, quiet aside from Cecil burbling.

Eventually, Cecil falls quiet and just stares at the sky. He stops walking.

"Hm?" Carlos turns to face him, pushing his long hair back out of the way; he looks both fascinated and confused, a small smile on his lips. That's all that Cecil can catch out of the corner of his eye, seeing as most of his attention is fixed on a cluster of stars.

"Cecil, what are you-"

"Carlos, come and stand here for a moment." Cecil says, waving his boyf- _Carlos_ over.

"Okay... What are we doing?" Carlos laughs quietly. It's a gentle, soft sound.

Cecil wants to hear it forever.

"Look." Cecil takes Carlos's hand and uses it to point, "That's _Corona Borealis_. The Northern Crown. You know the story, right?" When Carlos shakes his head, he explains, "Adriadne, daughter of Minos, helped Theseus defeated the Minotaur by giving his magic thread to use in the labyrinth. In return, they eloped but he didn't really love her and Theseus abandoned her on an island. Luckily, Dionysus fell in love with her and they married. And he put her wedding diadem in the sky as a constellation."

"I guess that's love, huh?" Carlos breathes, "Giving somebody a constellation?"

Cecil is still gripping his hand. "If you ask me, it's a terrible story about love."

"In some ways." Carlos says, "Theseus sounds like an asshole."

"Oh, he was." Cecil pauses, "Do you want me to tell you about some other ones?"

"Constellations? Go ahead." Carlos leans against him, his head coming to rest on Cecil's shoulder, "But you don't have to grip my hand so tight. I'm not going to run away." He smiles faintly, "Tell me about... Hm, that one."

"What are you pointing at?" Cecil squints.

"That group of stars there."

"That's not a constellation, Carlos." Cecil laughs, "I can't tell you about it."

"Make something up." Carlos insists.

"Hm." Cecil thinks for a moment, "Well, that's the _Carlos_ constellation, obviously. Story goes that there was once a great scientist that discovered about half a million different stars and planets that nobody knew existed, so they named a constellation after him. You know, shouldn't you know this information? As a future astrophysicist."

"I know facts, I don't know stories." Carlos shrugs, smiling.

"Facts are boring. And probably illegal." Cecil says, "And not even a little bit pretty. The stories are much prettier than the stars themselves."

"You don't think that stars are pretty?"

"I think they're bursts of light that guide us from above. Boring numbers and facts ruin it."

"I'll prove you wrong."

"Go ahead."

"Okay." Carlos is still leaning against him, warm, "Well, every star you can see right now is bigger and brighter than the sun."

Cecil stares up at the glowing orbs and blinks. "Every single one?"

"Science wins this round." Carlos laughs, "Sorry, Cecil."

It's too weird to think about- the stars looking so small but being so much bigger than the sun- and Cecil isn't entirely sure that he believes it. But Carlos seems happy about science, so Cecil just nods and agrees with him. Most of the walk home, Carlos talks animatedly about stars and planets and galaxies and black holes. Cecil doesn't follow most of it but he's content to nod in the right places and ask questions, which seems to delight Carlos. He really likes being asked questions, it seems, unless they're too difficult for him to answer. That's when he starts shrugging and saying _"eh... Science is the answer!"_ Cecil thinks it's cute.

When they reach Cecil's house, he has to point it out because Carlos nearly walks straight past it. They really need to get a sign outside their house.

"So... You're home, then." Carlos's hands slip back into his pockets, "Cecil."

"Yes..." Cecil agrees, half-heartedly, wishing that today could go on forever. It would sound crazy to say that today was one of the best days of his life but he really did have a good time and he really does like Carlos. A lot. And he'd really like to kiss him goodbye but even he knows that might be going too far. Besides, Carlos might not want to kiss him.

"Well..." Carlos bites his lower lip, "I guess I'll see you on Monday."

"I hope so." Cecil says, "Bye, Carlos."

"Bye Cecil!"

He gets about halfway to the front door before he turns. "Wait, Carlos!"

"What?" The scientist is still standing on the sidewalk, smiling.

"Promise me that you won't get abducted by aliens between now and Monday."

Carlos rolls his eyes, good-naturedly. "I promise, Cecil. Promise you won't let any menacing undercover governments kidnap you?"

"Yeah..." Cecil smiles, "Promise. It was really nice to go on a date with you."

"Let's do it again sometime."

Cecil nods and heads inside.


	3. Monday: Doesn't Exist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Look, a Monday chapter posted on a Monday!!

"Earl, I'm telling you that there's no way we're at any risk from giant worms this year. That problem has already been handled and it's unlikely they'll arise from their giant worm-y graves to attack us again." Cecil says, waiting patiently as Earl searches his locker for his geometry book and scanning the crowd to see if Carlos is here yet. No sign of the scientist yet but Cecil is keeping faith.

"I'm not talking about giant worms. I'm talking about GIANT WORMS!!!" Earl points out, "You said that the two things were completely different. And I think that there's a real risk of GIANT WORMS!!! after all the rain we've had this year."

"Ohhh." Cecil realises, "Yes, GIANT WORMS!!! might be a threat. I thought you were referring to simple giant worms, not their terrifying cousins that devoured half the school soccer team last fall."

Earl rolls his eyes. "I told you a million times that the soccer team were at an away game. They weren't eaten by any GIANT WORMS!!!"

"That's what you think." Cecil says, "I suppose I can't challenge your beliefs."

"There are no such things as GIANT WORMS!!!" Roger points out, quietly, apparently having been standing there the entire time. Who knew that he was there, let alone listening?

"Earl, tell your shadow that there are such things and they ate most of the soccer team."

"Don't argue with him, Roger, it's easier not to." Earl advises.

The small shadow rolls his eyes.

Meanwhile, Cecil is still straining to catch sight of Carlos. He should be here right around-

Finally, he spots Carlos down the corridor and waves eagerly, leaning past Earl and Roger so that he's easier to spot. Although, honestly, he had been hoping that his green waistcoat with the orange polkadots would make him easy enough to spot as it is. Carlos catches sight of him and waves back, smiling, and walks over to them. Earl looks less than pleased with this development, stuffing his geometry book in his bag and scowling as if the book had bitten him. Which is ridiculous- everybody knows that chemistry textbooks are the ones that bite.

Beautiful Carlos stands right next to Cecil, the sleeve of his lab-coat brushing against Cecil's arm in a way which sets his heart pounding. He really hopes that isn't because he's brushed against lingering chemicals on the lab-coat.

"Hey, Cecil." Carlos says, before adding, "And Earl.

"Good morning, beautiful Carlos." Cecil touches him lightly on the arm, "It's nice to see you."

"Outsider." Earl nods, curtly, slamming his locker closed with a little more force than necessary.

"Hello, Carlos." Roger says.

Carlos jumps. "Oh! Hello... Uh?"

"This is Roger." Earl introduces, "Don't feel bad, we all forget he's here most of the time." Even Roger nods in silent agreement, "Anyway, can we help you with something?"

"Just wanted to say hi. See what's going on. Just... Because. It's not like I was looking for a reason to come over here or anything." Carlos says, before quickly adding, "Was it you guys yelling about giant worms?"

"Not giant worms." Cecil says, "GIANT WORMS!!! They are two completely different types of giant worms and therefore mean you should employ varying levels of panic. There's giant worms, Giant Worms, GIANT WORMS!, and GIANT WORMS!!! Not to forget their close relatives, MEGA-DEATH WORMS!!!!! The latter don't live here anymore- they relocated to California for the nicer weather."

"The first two sounded similar." Carlos points out.

"They're spelt differently, _obviously_." Earl rolls his eyes and folds his arms across his chest, "Come on, Cecil, we should go before the outsider imprints ideas on your mind or whatever it is that you think people from out of town do."

"Carlos isn't an outsider anymore." Cecil assures him, "He might be my boyfriend soon. That means that he's one of us. One of us! One of us! One of-"

"Oh, goody." Earl says, perhaps sarcastically. He certainly doesn't look happy for Carlos to join their group but Cecil isn't sure why. He'll have to ask about that later.

"It's okay, Earl, I think we can all be friends." Carlos smiles at him, "Right?"

"Right." Roger, the shadow, echoes.

Earl shakes his head. "I'm going to geometry."

And he skulks away, quickly swallowed by the crowd of people and disappearing from view. (Maybe Roger follows, none of them are looking to check). Within seconds, Cecil loses sight of him but he knows that Earl will be okay. Earl has several survival badges after all and everybody knows that you only need one to survive the school environment. After his friend is gone, Cecil turns back to his boyf- Carlos- and smiles at him. He looks so darn cute today, (and every other day of the year).

"Did I do something to upset him?" Carlos asks, curiously.

"So, I see you didn't get abducted by aliens. Of course, there's no way of proving it either way, so correct me if I'm wrong." Cecil says, changing the subject quickly. He's become an expert on the subject, since Abby called again yesterday and he doesn't want to lie through his teeth to her. Changing the subject is safer.

"No, I didn't." Carlos says, the corner of his lip twitching in amusement, "Is there any way of checking? I'm guessing you must know all the signs of alien abduction."

"Of course I do." Cecil steps closer and studies him carefully, "No, you look okay. There's no obvious marks or scars. But you should be protecting yourself anyway."

And he tugs one of his amulets off over his head, the one with the pretty purple stone, and slides it around Carlos's neck. The whole time, he's sure to make steady eye contact with him, beaming eagerly. That's how you get people to like you: eye contact, smiling, and casual conversation. His mother also advised several other methods- but Cecil decided a few of them might be a little extreme. Cecil fiddles with the purple stone, lingering close to Carlos. He's certainly close enough to be able to count Carlos's teeny, tiny freckles on his nose.

"Matches your left sock." Cecil points out, when he remembers to breathe.

"Oh, yeah, yeah." Carlos seems to snap out of some sort of daydream and look down at his socks, as if he has already forgotten which ones he is wearing, "It does. Thanks, Cecil, it's really pretty. To protect against alien abductions, you said?"

"Evil spirits, aliens, it's all the same level of danger." Cecil shrugs, "My mother says this one will work against most things."

"Cool." Carlos says, sounding genuinely interested, "What's it made of?"

"It's a physical manifestation of the human soul trapped in a pretty rock." Cecil says, (unless his mother is lying to him about that), "It's nice, huh? Don't worry, I should be okay with just these ones." He flicks the other charms hanging around his neck, "We'll both stay safe today."

"Great!" Carlos smiles, "Can I walk you to class?"

Cecil beams. "If you want to. We could even hold hands, if you want to."

"Maybe another day. It's a little soon."

"Is it 'too much'?" Cecil uses his fingers to make quotation marks in the air.

"A little." Carlos laughs.

"I'll just pretend we're holding hands then." After all, they're walking so close that they might as well be. 

* * *

 When Cecil enters geometry and takes his seat beside Earl, his friend doesn't so much as greet him or explain why he was in such a rush to get here that he abandoned Cecil. After all, Earl knows that they're supposed to walk to Geometry together. Cecil's not sure why he'd suddenly change things up. Earl just glances at him briefly before huffing and returning to staring out of the window. Which is quite the feat because they sit across the room from the window. Instead, it's Dana who leans forward and taps Cecil on the shoulder. He turns to face her.

"Hey, Cecil." She smiles at him, scrawling what looks like notes with her left hand and reapplying her lipstick with her right hand, "So, how's it going? Heard you got a date with Carlos?"

Cecil likes Dana a lot, even if he hasn't known her anywhere near as long as he's known Earl. Honestly, he only met Dana because she was one in a long line of interns and then proceeded to disappear for a while, (Earl says she was holidaying but that's just what the city council want them to think), before returning from a desert otherworld and becoming the president of the student council. They've been fast friends ever since, even if Cecil did think she was manipulating him a while back and hurt her feelings by mistake. They're over that now.

"I did go on a date with Carlos!" Cecil says, brightly, "How did you know?"

"With the outsider, more like." Earl mutters, crossing his arms.

Dana raises an eyebrow. "Oh, Earl. Don't tell me that you're jealous of Cecil finding somebody else to spend all his time with?"

"Not all my time. Just half a day." Cecil says, "It was meant to just be an afternoon but Carlos has lots of questions to ask about me and my mother and Khoshekh and Night Vale and school and everything. Not to mention, I showed him some constellations."

"You and me normally star-watch together." Earl says, "We got the badge together, remember? It's this one, right here." He gestures to it, "It was one of the only badges you earned before you left and started making up your own badges."

"Oh, shush, Earl." Dana waves his complaints away, "You can be such a whiner sometimes. Cecil is allowed to look at stars with his new boyfriend." She turns back to Cecil, "He _is_ your boyfriend, right?"

There's such excitement in her warm brown eyes that he feels disappointed to let her down.

"Not yet." Cecil says, "But soon. I can feel it."

"I'm crossing my fingers for you, Cecil." Dana says, doing so, "After all, he's a nice guy and he's smart and he's sweet. Not to mention, he seems to know how to put up with your Cecil-ness. It took me ages to figure all of it out but he seemed to understand it all instantly."

"And the fact I've known and spent time with Cecil forever means nothing?" Earl huffs.

"Whining isn't attractive, Earl." Dana says, firmly, "I'm trying to talk to Cecil about something important."

"Carlos said he was different too." Cecil says, eagerly, "Not in the same way as me, probably, but he's not like everybody else either. I think that's a really good sign of a positive relationship on the horizon. He also held my hand. And you never let me hold your hand, Earl."

"I've never gone on a date with you, Cecil." Earl points out.

"What about the bowling alley?" Cecil frowns.

Earl starts spluttering. "Those were dates? Yesterday was a _date_?"

"Yes, and you were exceptionally reluctant to buy me a soda. I will be noting this down for future reference. That doesn't prove good for our future, Earl." Cecil says, scarcely concealing a smile, "What will the children think?"

"It was a date?" Earl still sounds confused.

"The children?" Cecil has no idea why Roger is here or when he got here. But he's here.

"Cecil." Dana's soft hand touches his shoulder and the sound of her pen rushing against her notebook comes to an abrupt halt, "Do you want me to explain to you how a date works? Because I think you've misunderstood. See, you-"

"I was kidding." Cecil adds, helpfully, "It was a joke." He looks down, "It sounded funnier in my head somehow. I think I'm going to need to work on this whole "sarcasm" thing."

"I'll give you lessons." Dana says, perhaps sarcastically, "Trust me, I'm an expert."

"Thanks, Dana. That would be helpful." Cecil replies, perhaps sarcastically.

She smiles and he turns back to his textbook, resuming his neat drawings of the many, many genderless, illegal beings called Erika in the margins.

"You and Cecil are planning to have children?" Roger looks to Earl.

"Cecil was just trying to be funny. Intentionally."

Roger laughs, a little late to the party. He's good at making things awkward. 

* * *

 Carlos doesn't join them for lunch. Earl is happy about this.

Instead, just Earl and Cecil and Dana sit on the floor of the science corridor like they usually do. Since Cecil has declared his lunch inedible- that's what happens when he lets his mother make it- he's allowed to pick at Earl's instead. And he does so, picking up crackers between his index finger and middle finger to study carefully before eating them. After all, he's not just going to eat anything. He doesn't know who puts together Earl's lunches and when they last washes their hands. He makes sure there's nothing suspicious on each cracker individually before popping it in his mouth and crunching it. They taste salty.

Earl is sat beside him, watching him with amusement, shuffling his pack of Night Vale Playing Cards. They're cards that the two of them started making when they were possibly eleven, (but who knows really? Who has any concept of age?), using purple card and markers. Also, lots of glitter, but that was mostly Cecil's work. Each year, they try to make fourteen new cards at least and both them and Dana have got pretty thick decks to work with by now.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Dana nods to Cecil's cell phone. It's been ringing on and off for the last ten minutes now, displaying Abby's name on the screen.

He shakes his head and squashes a cracker between his fingers. The crumbs fall onto his lap. "It's just my sister calling from college. Most likely checking up on me again."

"Since when does your sister check up on you?" Earl frowns, "I thought she didn't call you unless you called her first, anyway."

"I didn't even think that she liked me." Cecil says, blankly, "Let alone that she wanted to talk to me over the phone every day. Perhaps she's homesick. Earl, will you turn my phone off?"

Cecil can't reach because Dana, well practiced with her fancy pens, is drawing an intricate design that looks like an eye on the back of his left hand. Amongst the other drawings and notes, it doesn't stick out too much but she's drawn it to look really pretty with a little moon inside the pupil of the eye. It seems to be smiling at Cecil somehow and that makes him smile too. He wonders if Dana's drawing resembles the all-seeing eye that Cecil's mother fears so much and vows that he won't let her see it, just in case. He doesn't want his mother to freak out or anything.

Earl doesn't turn the phone off, answering it instead. "Hello, Abby. Cecil can't get to the phone right now, he's busy converting to the cult of the Smiling God. Yep, he's staring into the bright light right now. What? Yes, I am kidding. No, he's not staring into any bright lights. That would damage his eyes if he did that. No, I can't hand you over."

"Ask what she wants." Dana advises, before Earl can say anything else ridiculous.

(Smiling God? Whoever heard of such a thing!)

"Why are you calling, Abby?" Earl inquires, "Yes, your brother's fine. Your mother's no different from usual- I'm not sure why you're concerned. Look, I'm going to put you on speaker."

And he does so.

"Hello, Abby!" Dana calls.

"Hi Dana. Hi Cecil." Abby's voice is mangled by the phone.

"Abby, why are you calling? I told you that everything is fine." Cecil says, as clearly as he can, "There is no reason whatsoever for you to be calling me. If there was a problem, I'd contact you."

"Cecil, you and I both know I'd be the last person you'd contact." Abby reminds him.

"No, the last person would be Steve Calsberg." Cecil says, "But your point still stands, I suppose. You're the third last person after Steve and Kevin." He shudders, "Kevin! Speaking of Kevin, Earl, we have to tell Dana who we saw yesterday!"

"Was it Kevin?" Dana guesses.

"How did you know?" Cecil says, in surprise.

"Okay, whatever, can we just..." Abby clears her throat, "Can you text me back sometime? I like to know how you're doing."

"Why don't you just install cameras in our house like every other spy?"

"Cecil, that's not-"

"Nice talking to you, Abby. Have a nice day!" Cecil leans over and ends the call. In doing so, he smears salt across the screen with his fingers.

Dana finishes the drawing with a flourish. "There. The symbol of your beloved Night Vale. And now that I've done that for you, I'm going to require you to tell me why you're avoiding your sister."

"I'm not avoiding, she just keeps asking about my mother. She seems to think something's wrong." Cecil admires her artwork, flexing his fingers, "This is pretty."

"Cecil." Earl says, with a strange sense of urgency, "Is something wrong with your mother? Something more than usual?"

"Nothing's wrong with her, she just misses Abby." Cecil shrugs.

"Why doesn't Abby just call your mother, if both of them are missing each other?" Dana asks.

Cecil picks at his thumbnail, thinking.

"I think they had a fight." He says, quietly, "Before Abby left for college."

He doesn't think, he knows. He doesn't like rows or raised voices, so he spent most of that argument under the kitchen table with his ears covered. His mother had to spend the evening coaxing him out.

"Oh." Earl and Dana say at the same time.

Dana seems to sense that Cecil is uncomfortable. "So, how was bowling yesterday?"

The subject closed, Earl begins to tell the story of how they went bowling yesterday and how they were having a great time until they ran into Kevin.

Kevin is a short male, who lives in the next city over, with wispy darkish hair and thick glasses. He has this strange scar on his forehead that resembles stitches and looks a lot to Cecil like he's had his third eye sown shut. The scar is bright red and angry. His irises kaleidoscope between colours in the same way Cecil's do but they take on darker, more sinister colours. There's shadows in his eyes that don't seem to shift, despite the fact that Kevin is constantly smiling. It's as if his mouth has been stitched into place like that. He's always saying stupid things about Smiling Gods and blind worship and keeping your eyes closed and your mind closed and every single that you can close, you should probably close it.

According to Earl, Kevin is "disturbing" and "creepy", though he "can't really explain why he's creepy, he just is, and he makes me uncomfortable". It's rare to run into Kevin in Night Vale but on occasion, they do bump into each other. Every single time, Cecil and him end up getting into heated discussion and yesterday, Earl had to prise them apart.

"Was his weird boyfriend there too?" Dana asks, interrupting the story.

"Oh, yeah. Diego was there." Earl says, flippantly, "If he wasn't, I would have let Cecil have at Kevin. But in front of Diego? No way. That guy is tough."

"I don't like Kevin." Cecil sighs, staring down at his feet.

"You probably won't see him again anytime soon." Dana says, "He only pops up now and then."

(In hindsight, Cecil has decided that she jinxed future events by saying that)

* * *

 After school, Cecil looks for Earl and finds him outside. Today, Earl has brought his bike and he's unlocking the padlock, freeing the bike from its chains. When he sees Cecil coming, he waves him over. And he makes a few minutes of polite small talk before jumping right in with:

"So, I saw you gave one of your necklaces to Carlos." Earl coughs, "Do you- do you need to get that back or is it a gift? Because the one you gave him looks an awful lot like the one you gave me." He casts his gaze down to the purple amulet hanging around his neck, "Does that mean that he's your best friend now too?"

"What? No." Cecil smiles, "Don't be silly, Earl, it's two completely different things. See, purple symbolises love, which is why I gave the purple amulet to Carlos."

"Mine is purple too." Earl says. Damn, he's so hard to reason with.

"Oh, really, I thought it was green." Cecil averts his eyes, "What a coincidence."

"Don't bullshit me, Cecil, you knew you gave us both purple ones."

"It's my favourite colour and you're my two favourite people." Cecil shrugs, "That's all, Earl. Don't blow this out of proportion now."

"I'm not blowing anything out of proportion." Earl sighs, and comes to a stop, "Look, just forget it. It's nothing- it's just a necklace, right? So, just forget it. Do you want to catch a movie today? I'll buy you those gummy worms you like."

Cecil nods. "Okay. I'm sorry that I made you mad."

"I'm not mad. I promise I'm not mad." Earl looks him firmly in the eyes, "Cecil, I promise I'm not mad at you. Don't get upset."

"I'm not upset." Cecil shrugs, "I just wish my best friends would get along. You like Dana, why don't you like Carlos? I don't understand. They are both nice people with good brains and pretty hair."

"Carlos is a guy, that's the difference. And you _like_ Carlos."

"I like you and Dana too. And Old Woman Josie. And Khoshekh. And my mother. I like a lot of people- and cats!"

"It's not- nevermind." Earl shakes his head, "Let's just get going."

It's cold outside and they begin down the sidewalk, in the direction of the movie theatre today. Cecil stuffs his hands in the pockets of his waistcoat and wishes that he brought his jacket- unfortunately, it vanished recently. Perhaps the city council took it to examine and to check for illegal substances, such as wheat. That's his theory anyway. As they walk, he finds it's colder than he originally thought and his teeth start to shiver in his mouth. He hunches over, barely aware of Earl talking about some bonfire he's going to in a few weeks time.

"Are you okay?" Earl asks, suddenly, coming to a stop, "You're shaking."

"It's cold. And the city council stole my j-jacket."

"Yeah, right. You use that excuse every time you lose something."

"That's b-b-because it's the t-truth."

"You want my jacket?" Earl asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, p-please." Cecil says, "Thank you, Best F-F-Friend Earl."

"You don't have to call me that." Earl slips off his jacket and hands it over, without another word.

It's warm and cozy, a little big on Cecil but fitting him well enough nonetheless. It's also a very nice shade of brown and has several patches sown onto it, some of which Cecil helped make. Since their Boy Scouts didn't make the right badges, the two of them set about to invent and earn some of them themselves. Cecil's favourite is the Taming Dragons badge on the upper right arm of the jacket because it's got the cutest picture of a dragon on it that Earl embroidered. This jacket brings back a lot of memories and he buries himself in it.

"I'll let you pick the movie." Earl says, as if he's been thinking it over, "But you have to promise that you won't say a word about Carlos for the entirety of it." Cecil opens his mouth to speak. "No, you can't even talk about him during the credits." Cecil shuts his mouth. "Let's go."

"Not even during the commercials at the start?" Cecil asks, as they continue on their way.

"Nope!"

"What about-"

"Cecil, _no_."

"Okay." Cecil nods, "What about a video of a cute cat that I saw on Carlos's Tumblr last night? Can I talk about that?"

"Depends; how cute was the cat?"

"Adorable. Fluffy and small and trying to climb into a washing machine."

"Okay, you can talk about that."

"I knew 'fluffy' would win you over."


End file.
